Seeking the feeling that will endure. The devil descends from heaven. Angels tears shower the dead. Churches towers crumple in shame.
With a big grim on his face. He spits on the ritual of love. It is pure but not sanctified. The view is in a angle I can not portray.
Sharp razor lies get smeared with blood of the holy. The guilty get washed away in sin. And I pray this prayer.
"Forgive the liars for their trespasses. Only remember them by the loves ones they killed. Bless this sin I have committed for her. Father I know that I'm no use to you. So cast me to my enemies. Devour me in fire. Help with this guilt and the devastation of this shame. AMEN!".Posted: May 22 2009 (4 days ago) 06:44 PM
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Eroded
Vicky my vice. Codin not so nice. Let the pill swim in your mind and forget her in time.
She eroded inside my mind. I open her up and crush her until she became nothing. She turns into dust inside my mouth and I swallow her down. Please leave her alone...
She rips my nerves apart and I enjoys every moment of it. Blood seeks out from my hip and I laugh with her. Do it one more time until I die. Let me have you one more time. She seduces me like no other. I want to rapture her and then hang her upside down from the sky.
Take that hand of yours and rip my skin apart. Take my broken bone and mend it with glue. Remember when I was sane? Remember when I used to love you. Remember me when I sleep in hell tonight.
Let's get this over with. I'm so messed up all I want is for her to kill this delusional pain of me. Cleanse me with your soft white skin.
Save me tonight from this horrible pain.
Posted: May 16 2009 10:01 PM
She eroded inside my mind. I open her up and crush her until she became nothing. She turns into dust inside my mouth and I swallow her down. Please leave her alone...
She rips my nerves apart and I enjoys every moment of it. Blood seeks out from my hip and I laugh with her. Do it one more time until I die. Let me have you one more time. She seduces me like no other. I want to rapture her and then hang her upside down from the sky.
Take that hand of yours and rip my skin apart. Take my broken bone and mend it with glue. Remember when I was sane? Remember when I used to love you. Remember me when I sleep in hell tonight.
Let's get this over with. I'm so messed up all I want is for her to kill this delusional pain of me. Cleanse me with your soft white skin.
Save me tonight from this horrible pain.
Posted: May 16 2009 10:01 PM
Voided
Nothing seems to ease this pain... I called last night and no one ever answered?? Then I never heard from you again... You never gave me a chance ... I would of begged in bended knees......
If you only cared enough... I would of stayed and listened... But, tonight I will grieve ... In a world filled with people who love each other and not me... You left me wondering about fate....
I guess in the end it really doesn't matter anymore...
My miss my love for you tonight...
I never knew how much you were ignored...
You never knew how much I really loved you....
I'm still missing you...
I'm still mourning you...
In this empty room... I'll never be alone with out you again...
I miss you so much.....
Posted: December 2 2008 03:02 AM
If you only cared enough... I would of stayed and listened... But, tonight I will grieve ... In a world filled with people who love each other and not me... You left me wondering about fate....
I guess in the end it really doesn't matter anymore...
My miss my love for you tonight...
I never knew how much you were ignored...
You never knew how much I really loved you....
I'm still missing you...
I'm still mourning you...
In this empty room... I'll never be alone with out you again...
I miss you so much.....
Posted: December 2 2008 03:02 AM
PAY ME!
Tears that tear a hole in my heart. Wash ashore on a empty bed...
I grieve and play with dismay.. Wish nothing more than to see you dead..
The tears that tore a hole in my head.. Make me want to see you beg....
The uncontrollable laughther inside of fate. Grabs hold of my desire to vacate. You cut my vein and spit in my face.. Then you senteced me to suffer in your amusement. . I really don't understand the bleed for death..
Hoping for absolute in fate.. I want nothing more than to see you pay..
The tears that tore a hole in my heart.... Want nothing more than to see you bled........
Posted: November 11 2008 01:07 AM
I grieve and play with dismay.. Wish nothing more than to see you dead..
The tears that tore a hole in my head.. Make me want to see you beg....
The uncontrollable laughther inside of fate. Grabs hold of my desire to vacate. You cut my vein and spit in my face.. Then you senteced me to suffer in your amusement. . I really don't understand the bleed for death..
Hoping for absolute in fate.. I want nothing more than to see you pay..
The tears that tore a hole in my heart.... Want nothing more than to see you bled........
Posted: November 11 2008 01:07 AM
OFF Topic
I keep trying to see what it is.. What makes me feel this way?
What is the point? I hate it more and more.
My unwillingness to trade it for you..
Rotten love trying judge a unfaithful past.
There was never a destiny between me and you..
Trying to refuse clogged arteries..
Well, that understanding only infuriates me even more..
The lack of your taste and conclusions..Drives me to my bitterness
There is nothing left from my childhood memories...
I could end this right now.. But, refuse to give in.
You buried me with your lies..
With hugs and no surprises you want me dead..
Posted: November 14 2008 11:57 PM /
What is the point? I hate it more and more.
My unwillingness to trade it for you..
Rotten love trying judge a unfaithful past.
There was never a destiny between me and you..
Trying to refuse clogged arteries..
Well, that understanding only infuriates me even more..
The lack of your taste and conclusions..Drives me to my bitterness
There is nothing left from my childhood memories...
I could end this right now.. But, refuse to give in.
You buried me with your lies..
With hugs and no surprises you want me dead..
Posted: November 14 2008 11:57 PM /
Life is not hard. Just dead on wrong!
When I heard her say I was going to be there.
I never meant to dance on her head..
When I saw the dog lie and decieve.
I could of sworn it was alreaady theirs...
In the morning drive I like to imagine I want to lie..
Swing the branch and cut the tree..
Life expectancy is just to short for me...
Posted: October 27 2008 02:51 AM
I never meant to dance on her head..
When I saw the dog lie and decieve.
I could of sworn it was alreaady theirs...
In the morning drive I like to imagine I want to lie..
Swing the branch and cut the tree..
Life expectancy is just to short for me...
Posted: October 27 2008 02:51 AM
?
The isolation of pain is remotely ignored.
When I kneel and asked for the safest route
Vicodin came and crumbled in my soul....
I never felt so dead before..
I asked the rodent help me kill my guardian angel..
He refused and showed a path deep thru the trash parade.
The ladder only descend to the depths of despair...
I have tried to decipher the deterioration of human decay...
Living under a tree and raining soak in breed...
How would one look dead hanging from a dream?
When I kneel and asked for the safest route
Vicodin came and crumbled in my soul....
I never felt so dead before..
I asked the rodent help me kill my guardian angel..
He refused and showed a path deep thru the trash parade.
The ladder only descend to the depths of despair...
I have tried to decipher the deterioration of human decay...
Living under a tree and raining soak in breed...
How would one look dead hanging from a dream?
Never felt worse...
Posted May 7 2009 12:17 AM Mood: Uncomfortable Currently: Sleeping in a sitting position
24/7 seating in the same spot... I had recently. I can't wait to get back to my regular life. I sleep sitting down and I also use a. My leg was fixed again. The Dr. removed bone from my left hip.. The pain is real bad. When will I ever be back to life. Anxiety, sleeping disorder and stuff...
I wanted all this.... But I guess i really don't care anymore.
24/7 seating in the same spot... I had recently. I can't wait to get back to my regular life. I sleep sitting down and I also use a. My leg was fixed again. The Dr. removed bone from my left hip.. The pain is real bad. When will I ever be back to life. Anxiety, sleeping disorder and stuff...
I wanted all this.... But I guess i really don't care anymore.
I am still here and not at the same time...
Posted March 19 2009 10:35 AM
It is time to end this my way. I am tired of hearing when. I am tired of being question why and how. People spy on me. They wait and see if I am a lie. My friends keep disappearing. My is not trust worthy. I am not join to leave you... Maybe just cheat on you.
It is time to end this my way. I am tired of hearing when. I am tired of being question why and how. People spy on me. They wait and see if I am a lie. My friends keep disappearing. My is not trust worthy. I am not join to leave you... Maybe just cheat on you.
It is what it is!
Posted January 11 2009 11:58 PM
Feels like I am loosing interest in things again. Where is the trust I once knew. Where are my real friends I grew up with. I can't help to hate this moment alone.. If I learned something in life. It is that no one real cares about you and you are all alone.
I want to look in the abandoned house and seek a dark path. I want to catch the elusive mouse. Everything seems to be going awry. Spring is coming soooon... I will lay you down to sleep and bury you in my memory. I know that I am not alive in this place. In this sad dark place I hide in my mind.
Can you stay with me a little longer......
Help me keep breaking my vows. I swear you won't be my last. I know I won't loose sleep over you... I will not lust after the tainted PAintings you took. All smiles and no souls... All creeps and no remorse... Deep down inside I want you to go
and I will keep waiting to be saved from this infirmary....
Feels like I am loosing interest in things again. Where is the trust I once knew. Where are my real friends I grew up with. I can't help to hate this moment alone.. If I learned something in life. It is that no one real cares about you and you are all alone.
I want to look in the abandoned house and seek a dark path. I want to catch the elusive mouse. Everything seems to be going awry. Spring is coming soooon... I will lay you down to sleep and bury you in my memory. I know that I am not alive in this place. In this sad dark place I hide in my mind.
Can you stay with me a little longer......
Help me keep breaking my vows. I swear you won't be my last. I know I won't loose sleep over you... I will not lust after the tainted PAintings you took. All smiles and no souls... All creeps and no remorse... Deep down inside I want you to go
and I will keep waiting to be saved from this infirmary....
Nothing....
Posted December 15 2008 02:50 AM
I can't seem to sleep that well. I keep thinking too much.
Memories drown out my happiness. Is it really that hard to understand.
I never wanted anything else...
I never knew you really never cared... We kept waiting for you.. But, you never showed up...
You claim to be a saint... You are nothing more than a ...
How could you promise so much and deliver nothing... Not even a single letter we have received... I can help to hate you more... You used to be my hero... Now you are nothing more than false prophet...
I can't seem to sleep that well. I keep thinking too much.
Memories drown out my happiness. Is it really that hard to understand.
I never wanted anything else...
I never knew you really never cared... We kept waiting for you.. But, you never showed up...
You claim to be a saint... You are nothing more than a ...
How could you promise so much and deliver nothing... Not even a single letter we have received... I can help to hate you more... You used to be my hero... Now you are nothing more than false prophet...
Pain what number?
Posted on 12/09/2008 at 22:29
I would say it is a 8 or 9. From a scale 1-10. After my removal of two screws in the lower tibia... I woke up feeling very dazed... My mouth was very dry... I wanted a glass of water.. But, was told I had to wait. Then 1 hour later I was given water.
On my way home I vomited... Now I lay and rest with too much pain... I hope this recovery goes well. For three weeks I will not work... My distractions:Xbox live, internet and movies... I hope tonight I am able to sleep. Too much pain! Please make it go away!
I would say it is a 8 or 9. From a scale 1-10. After my removal of two screws in the lower tibia... I woke up feeling very dazed... My mouth was very dry... I wanted a glass of water.. But, was told I had to wait. Then 1 hour later I was given water.
On my way home I vomited... Now I lay and rest with too much pain... I hope this recovery goes well. For three weeks I will not work... My distractions:Xbox live, internet and movies... I hope tonight I am able to sleep. Too much pain! Please make it go away!
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