Psycho Analysis

 It's all too familiar in the manner which she smiles. It's not all that familiar the way you shy away ....

From East to Snelling it will take me there until I'm gone...  Night bye night it was the worst when she was gone.

The only thing I can do now is to cherish that which I never had. 

Waiting... waiting...  waiting until she is home...

Waiting... waiting...  waiting until she is gone...

 Two months was all I got from beginning to end. I have forgiven myself for not being cruel enough. I have tried so hard not to understand that which you always keep... I have forgiven your lonely state of mind. Just keep dreaming of a better life. 

Lets us focus our attention in your thoughts and in your infertility. What makes me question every little detail about your life and how you make me feel... Is your perception towards me.

When you leave and leave you will. How will I truly feel in your absence?

My sweet friend I know you know that I know and I cry slowly in the cold corner of your very poor story... In a lucid dream by a beautiful tree. I sit and chase you all night with the desire in your silver eyes. 

Is it really dating when I am married. Is it really love when I am drunk. 

The taste and smell of fresh brewed coffee reminds me of my divorce.. It just echos... it echos and it echos.

Same songs, different symbols and different temples are who we are.

How do I know you know.

Setting standards... One silently accuses the other of visiting her dream. Can you sleep standing or seating in dark cold morgue? Because nothing seems to work for me. No matter how you say it. No matter how you sleep. This dream will become a reality. But, I don't want to carry this feeling for her anymore. Can you hear me?... Can you love her?...Can you help me stop this?...  The hammer just keeps grinding me into the ground.

The mice will return to finish what they extracted. The starvation of millions are every where and our pennies save our habits alone.  Please tell me what I want to hear and show me how you care. Is it one scoop or two lumps to die at your feet?

She is scaling his heart to find his book. She is facing reality without her joy.

Elsa where are you?...
How are you?... Why do I even care that you are gone?... We sat across from different paths. We sat idle in the devils hands. He sat on the edge of your bed and read your palm. Foolish lecture of riddles of life and misery. It's more than what you can read and see.

Keep swimming towards the shore and leave your thoughts behind. Keep swimming towards the light. Heartfelt bruised and salted you will be embraced. Showered in guilt and shame you will always be chased away. Sunday is one of those beautiful days I saved for you Melody. But, I don't feel like going home alone.

I'm still right here.

I guess if Satan can dance. The moon will bleed itself to death.
Behold and witness the mushroom cloud on the horizon. Are you ready?

  Not today, maybe tomorrow. But, I am not waiting. What is it about that something, that one thing that lingers? You pause and think and question the behavior. He lacks knowledge, sleep and awareness. She devours his dreams at night. She cooks her heart for dinner and poisons his moon pies. Her smile is blood red and you are a psychopath! My speech becomes blurred and mumbled. But not slurred. My vision shakes and I feel relaxed. I start dreaming a very lucid dream. Dark shadow speaks to me in a demonic voice. Paralysis sinks in. I struggle to wake myself up. Only to be falsely awaken. I am now stuck between reality and my nightmare. The shadow points towards a two way mirror. In the other side of this mirror is reality and I can see myself sleeping on a dark lonely park bench. I hit and kick the mirror trying to break it. I scream and throw my whole body against it. Nothing works and I finally give up. It's been while since we last spoke and I had this dream of you and me waiting for salvation. Let’s start one more time this reoccurring dream. But, this time I will read it in my sleep.